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Oil Companies Enter Language Education Market, with the Help of Accenture

The oilfield services company I work for has outsourced a huge amount of our back office administration to Accenture.

We move thousands of assets around the world every day and retire or sell thousands more. We pay Accenture to scrutinize these transactions.

Accenture outsources the whole thing to some tinpot republic in the middle of god-knows-where. The analysts who work for them don’t speak English or have telephones.

They send us thousands (literally) of emails a day that don’t make any sense whatsoever:

“Please do the needful”

“thank you for your day”

and

“I got confused please need your clarification for understanding”.

I’m certain they get paid by the email.

Results

It costs us time and money and frustrates the hell out of anyone who ever has to deal with them.

We spend millions of dollars a year for a service that we don’t receive and that’s only in measurable costs. The true cost can’t be measured because we have no way of tracking how long it takes for us to figure out what on earth the Accenture analysts are saying to us.



Every email we send to them is read by a non-English speaker who types words that don’t mean anything back to us and then asks us a series of canned questions.

It’s worse than talking to a pre-recorded machine at a call center as it all needs to be typed out, word for word and it takes them 24-48 hours to respond.

Thanks to Accenture we are now in the business of teaching English to foreign analysts.


Exposing Evil Empire recommends to use Accenture’s services for the following types of companies: oil companies, weapon manufacturers, alcohol & tobacco producers, fast-food chains, sugar refineries, adult entertainment, and sweat shops. And all of Donald Trump’s companies.

Guest Writer
October 22, 2016
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  1. FIRE THEM NOW! Or have they got you by the balls in a contract backed by their thousands and thousands of corporate lawyers?

    Ohhhh “please do the needful” is one I get all the time. That exact phrase is one of my very favorite things to hate! That, and people who consistently don’t reply to you for 2-3 days (if ever) emailing again with a “follow-up” demanding a response if you don’t answer them within an hour.

    They’re teaching foreigners English, but we’re teaching accenture employees how to do their own assigned jobs, every step, every day. Our company was bought by accenture (which is how I came to receive my paychecks from the evil empire, through no action of my own, nor any foreknowledge… but that’s a whoooole other story I’ll write up soon), and since we are actually a qualified, talented, and experienced tech company, we end up teaching the dangerously unqualified idiots “with engineering backgrounds” that accenture tosses in our laps how to “help” us do what we do.

    We are actually being forced to try to teach – on the job – business grads and “marketing analysts” (whatever that means), who of course don’t even speak English much less C++, how to WRITE CODE.

    See, accenture seems to think that *anybody* can do *any job* at any time, including those jobs for which one must have a specialized degree to ever be considered for and years of direct experience to be good at. I don’t know why. They tell us all these people are here to “help” us, but after reading this site and looking around me, it appears they’re really only here to screw us into working even longer hours than before, as well as to pad out our poor, abused client’s already exorbitant bills. Unbelievable.