What? How Did I End Up in a Money Laundry Scheme?
I wasted three months of my life working for Accenture. I was lucky to figure out early enough that I needed to leave and I was lucky to be in a position that I could actually leave.
I am writing this note because reading about other people’s experience here on Exposing Evil Empire was instrumental in helping me make the decision to leave quickly enough to avoid further damage to my career.
It is only fair that I help other people out as well by sharing my story.
In a nutshell, the tagline of the Assventure posts could not describe it any better: Incompetence Delivered. That’s what Accenture is all about.
Boiling the Ocean
The office where I worked was packed with workers pretty much right out of high school. These kids sat in crowded spaces with terrible ergonomic conditions for at least 45 hours a week. This was in “Accenture Enterprise”, i.e. the division that handles support functions like HR, Legal, and accounting.
The work most of these kids did was borderline useless.
Like someone already described in another post, people were asked to create spreadsheets, write reports and memos, that nobody read, then they would have to reformat the same reports or tweak the spreadsheets for no reason, they would file online documents, then move the documents to another location, then rename them, then reformat them, etc, etc.
All of this was purposeless as nobody really read or cared about this information. Most of this kids would silently nod and do as they were told, as they quickly figured out this was the best strategy to “do well”.
In this company literally nothing works, every single system or tool they use is broken, extremely slow, or horribly designed.
Honestly, from email forms, to the intranet, to several tools for time tracking, or workspace arrangements, etc. – nothing works!
There is one online tool for absolutely everything, the company loves to portray itself as being cutting edge but the reality is that it is a disaster and none of these tools work as they should.
The Amazing Accenture Brand
The one thing this company has, or perhaps that was my naive impression when I accepted the job, is a brand.
They have branded themselves well, pretending to be a lean, forward thinking, modern, global company. They have those cool ads and the nicely crafted statements, with just the right words, logo and images to create the illusion of being a professional, value-centered organization.
They present themselves like the panacea of employee engagement and innovation.
They say you will never get a NO. The reality is that you ALWAYS get a NO. You should just sit at your desk and quietly agree to redo your work 50 times and create useless reports, memos, graphics, and so forth that nobody cares to use or read anyways.
My First Impression – Something is Fundamentally Wrong
I noticed things were fundamentally wrong from day one, when they crammed all new employees in a windowless, stinking hot room, for almost 9 hours.
The speakers who gave us the company orientation were horrendous. Again, kids with no presentation skills or proper understanding of company policies, employee engagement, or even technology, were selected to welcome the new employees.
They cut down our lunch down to 20 minutes to avoid getting behind schedule. During the 20 minute break we were asked to stay in the building, instead of getting fresh air, to avoid possible delays in getting back.
Then three hours of this vital orientation was spent in nonsense which had nothing to do with our work.
At the end, they were supposed to give us our laptops but they said they didn’t have them ready. A bunch of us couldn’t do any work or get much hands-on training for three days until we got our laptops, and nobody in this “hi-tech, cutting-edge” company could figure out a way around this.
It was so clear after only one day at this company that something was OFF. This was just a taste of what was to come day after day until I decided to leave.
My Second Impression – Money Laundering?
I worked for a month to find even more incompetence.
At some point, I started wondering if I was working in some sort of money laundry scheme. I honestly didn’t see how this company could possibly be making money out of us while we were all doing nonsense, nonproductive, purposeless work.
At the same time, I started hearing similar stories from other departments, from the few individuals who had the gut to share with me — though most kids were terrified of losing their jobs and would not speak up.
Basically, a layer of middle management prevented any real improvement to processes or technologies; they kept thousands of workers doing repetitive, useless tasks without clear goals or directions, wasting valuable companies’ money.
I couldn’t understand how a global company who is in the business of helping their clients be more efficient and effective could waste all these resources.
Honestly, the only explanation I could think of was money laundry!
This could justify the existence of this purposeless office with thousands of workers adding no value. Surely, this was just a wild and probably unjustified guess on my part, but it serves to exemplify just how bad the situation down there was.
In terms of employee development, work environment and work-life balance, the company offers NONE.
When they hired me, I bought into this, but only after a few weeks there I realized it was a complete lie.
The working conditions are horrendous. I felt I was back to pre-industrial revolution levels. There is no goal setting, mentoring and they don’t give you the tools you need to succeed either. You are micromanaged with stupid status meeting and dozens of status trackers of all sorts.
You spend more time tracking and reporting than doing actual work.
Read also: The Color Coding War
My apologies for the brevity but I don’t want to waste one more valuable minute of my life with anything related to this company.
As someone wrote somewhere else, if you are 19 years-old and this is your first job, sure, take it, do it for 2 years (no more) and move on.
If you are an experienced hire, you are corrupt and are happy to receive a paycheck to maintain the status quo of this horrific company, Accenture is also the place for you.
For anyone else, I hope this helps you stay away.