A collaborative campaign to expose the truth about Accenture

Assventure – Incompetence Delivered

Chris Griffin helping the Amish people out making some butterChris Griffin is not a wanker, he’s just helping the Amish people make butter. He would perhaps be a good Accenture Executive one day?

The excellent Assventure blog was deleted from Blogger in March 2012, a great blow from Accenture to all of us who dares to speak up against them.

Too bad for Accenture we had a backup of the posts of the Assventure blog. :)

Networking, a Derailed Career, and Inferiority Complex

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

I had three poor experiences with Accenture which I would like to share.

Essentially I was punished for not kissing enough ass
First, I joined Accenture as an experienced hire and was immediately placed on a project which lasted 18 months.

The project was pretty laid back, 40 hours a week, with some weekend work required around important project milestones such as Go-Live. Overall the environment was friendly, convenient, and stable, so I had no issues with the workplace.

However, I received with what equates to an “average” performance review for my first review, and was criticized for not networking enough.

Now I had nailed my deliverables, but also helped other teams with theirs (I can program in multiple languages, know database design and management, and can “speak to the business”).

None of this was brought up in my review, and essentially I was punished for not kissing enough ass. Not a show stopper, but annoying nonetheless.

The second situation was much, much worse. A manager called me when I was getting ready to roll off the project and conducted an impromptu interview with me, then 10 minutes into the conversation decides to let me know that two client associates are also on the call.

So essentially he has screwed me even before I had the change to know I was being screwed.

The manager lies about the position, saying it is “right up my alley” when it had nothing to do with my technical background.

After the interview the manager puts a “hold” on me in the system, so I cannot search for other projects, so essentially he has screwed me even before I had the change to know I was being screwed. I am very reluctant, and only agree to come out for one week to see if it’s a good fit.

I arrive onsite to discover they want me to learn a whole new programming language, stay there for a few years, and completely derail my career.

The manager’s tone had now changed, and suddenly he demanded I stay for at least a month now. I fought the manager, his manager, all the way up to the partner on the project, and finally was allowed to leave.

And finally, I rolled onto a new project with a female consultant with a major inferiority complex who was the worst micro manager I ever encountered.

After the first week I had a meeting with her to discuss the fact that I simply could not be micro managed, and that we would both need to “be flexible” in order to ensure a productive working relationship.

Things didn’t change, and became progressively worse. Eventually I spoke with her manager and explained the situation was unbearable. At one point during the project this manager called my cell phone 15 times, then somehow found my hotel, my hotel room, and called my hotel room about 10 times because a task in the project started two hours earlier (A task that was not on the critical path and had 24 hours to complete).

After that I decided to call it quits.

This company is like a cult.

They want you to kiss ass, bullshit, and bill, and that’s it. Anyone with any amount of intellect and scruples would be well advised to avoid this company like the plague.



Up-or-Out Mentality

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Accenture is a culture you either fit into or you escape – a very ‘up-or-out‘ mentality.

Some of the problems that commentators here on Exposing Evil Empire have noted are definitely attributed to the internal culture:

  • an over-emphasis on face-time,
  • long hours with no real work to do,
  • occasionally selling work that was undeliverable (technically unfeasible, impossible delivery schedule),
  • high employee attrition, etc.

Generally the focus was on selling, politics and ass kissing rather than delivering a viable product

Very few managers were good and ethical, a lot of management was horribly poor, and generally the focus was on selling, politics and ass kissing rather than delivering a viable product.

At all levels, you’re ranked against your co-workers for a very small number of promotion slots, particularly in recent times. This creates a strange dynamic: you’re both trying to work with people at your level to create something useful for a client and prove that you’re better/smarter/faster than your peers, some of whom are on the same project and most of whom you’ve never met.

Many of the complaints, however, are an effect of having large numbers of stakeholders on a complicated project. Clients are often unpredictable, and motivated by a completely different set of goals. Rework was extremely common due to constant spec changes, and I had to go to bat for my developers numerous times.

It’s not a great work environment. Low- and mid-level people are generally dropped into a project with no background and the client has been told that they’re experts on whatever giant, 30-year-old legacy system that the client is running. They fake it and learn on the job.

There’s often a hostile reception from the client employees – the perception is that you’re coming to take their job or fire them.

Back-stabbing and travel are the norms, and you’re expected to work long hours since you aren’t going home to a family – just a cheap hotel room.

Ultimately, what drove me out was the lack of interesting and rewarding work, heights of internal politics, and the basic level of integrity.

Wish I had left sooner, but I hadn’t figured out what I wanted nor was I informed on the pitfalls.



Employee Types – The Vulgar Point of View

Saturday, February 04, 2012

Assventure in the US is:

  • 5% hardcore skilled individuals
  • 95% people who have shot through hoops that use the hardcore skilled individuals mentioned above.

Theres various styles for an assventure employee:

  1. Doublespeaking douchebag that is in the honeymoon phase of being hyped on xanax or an analyst/consultant/manager fresh out of their respective training course and is ready to conquer the world!

    Reminds me of how Hitler took meth.

    This person will have a brown nose with fresh poo from rimming a senior douchexecutive.

    This person is analogous to a street wh*re who will let somebody bareback their an*s just to get to something to show to their peers in life, whoever that may be. This w*nker will follow any run book, ‘process’, or figuratively receive bukkake.
  1. L1 visa employee who assventure exploits for the dream. Note to L1, don’t do it, unless you are single and actually want to experience US just to experience it. Make sure assventure pays for all of your expenses and then some. My advice, don’t get trapped into this sour deal.

  2. H1B nerd, temporary expatriate who comes here to use US assventure for american dolla dolla to pay off house or DSLR camera. H1B is dual intent and has potential. This person will use assventure as a stepping stone. This person will go back to his land and have a mansion though.

  3. Talented worker who actually has real skills (and is US citizen, thus not needing a visa from Accenture), to begin with, that will use the hell out of assventure as a stepping stone, for what assventure is worth, and flip the knowledge gained on something more dignified. This person pays dues and will probably end up somewhere else in a leadership position elsewhere. This person will get the freedom they deserve in life by actually being a person of influence in another organization sooner or later.

  4. Lifer who is just hanging out, lucks out on projects that have a natural tendency to gain visibility, and therefore gets promoted EASILY. See the definition of lifer.

I’ll tell you what I did, I used assventure to give me a 50k USD raise in less than two years. I used their ‘brand image’ as a tool to promote myself in a eff’ed up economy and then hop to a real employer. It was purely strategic from the inception of sending them my resume.

My advice to you is – know which person you are. Know EXACTLY what you want. Know how to GET IT. If you do not know what you want, you will end up being abused by the system.

It’s a cold world folks – step on or be stepped on.



Accent on the Past

Friday, January 27, 2012

Accent on the past!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The worst re-branding, clearly showing the real inner workings………….



Annual Employee Assessment

Sunday, January 15, 2012

I joined Assventure as fresher and served it for 2.5 years. All throughout this tenure I found nothing bad about it except the annual employee assessment (rating).

I am sure many of the employees have already gone through what I am going to write below. This is one of the well know reasons due to which people decide to leave this company and why not! Who doesn’t want a company which actually rates you exactly the way you have performed that too with a decent salary hike.

I got a very good feedback from the supervisor but unfortunately just before the moderation period there wasn’t much work left for my role in the project. Therefore, I was rolled of from the project before the moderation. Result, default rating no matter what the feedback was, even if it was well documented in a crappy tool and easily available to the ‘Managers’ and ‘Senior managers’, they did what they had in plan for people getting rolled off from the project.

I strongly feel, once these kind of people get old, and employees from today’s generation hold senior positions the long prevailing bureaucracy would come to end.

Due to these people, young ones when they enter in IT realize they have entered into a field where their computer science background won’t help much. It would certainly be their political skills which would be needed to sustain in such an environment as Accenture.



People at Accenture

Saturday, January 07, 2012

The entire management lacks integrity when managing projects, resulting in a loss of talent across the company.

Managers can be vindictive and abusive. One standard for them and another for everyone below.

Smart workers usually leave because they are too busy coding and delivering to actually care about petty politics, CYA and b*tt k*ssing.

This company is anything but a meritocracy. They spend more time encouraging you to ‘network’ to get on projects, rather than rely on your own skills and experience.

The worst aspect of working for Accenture is that the ‘managers’, and ‘senior managers’ become lifers and have no discernible skills of their own.

At that point, they flock to projects before everyone else does because of their connections. Then they bill the client like it’s going out of style and bring in all of their friends from around the continent. They claim flights, hotels, per diems and rental cars. This jacks up the cost to the client, nothing is delivered in the requirements, plan and design phase.

All they produce are spreadsheets, Visio diagrams and PowerPoint slides. With millions spent and nothing but provisioning models and a barrage of three letter acronyms (TLAs), the client generally denies more bodies on the projects, shuts it down or de-scopes it, sues Accenture and cuts its losses. I’ve saw this happen consistently.

When it comes to promotions and ratings, people are rated against their peers which is fair. But for one person to sit on the bench all the while they’re struggling and willing to do whatever it takes to get on even most undesirable roles only to get no response from the role contacts is simply a good reason for a consultant or analyst to bail from the company.

Labels: Accenture interview, Accenture jobs, Accenture pay, Accenture reputation, Accenture review, IT consultancy



Accenture = McDonald’s

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Assventure is the McDonald’s of consulting and I’m happy to be leaving this crappy company. After years of slaving away for a pittance I’m ecstatic to be starting the new year off with a great company for a MUCH higher salary.

Assventure treats its employees horribly and it’s really sad, because there are a lot of talented hardworking people within the company.

However these people are usually screwed over in favor of the loud, incompetent, brash ass-kissers that run rampant within the company. Most of the people that are in leadership positions are incompetent blow-hards that bluff and spout BS to clients and depend on their worker bees to prop them up and make them look competent.

Accenture is the McDonald’s of consulting. Comic from BigTime Consulting.
There are a lot of people in "executive" level positions that obviously got their by sucking up to Senior Executives (SEs) and not based on their "merit".

The ratings and promotion process is a bunch of arbitrary BS. I’ve been on several projects where people were ranked highly not because of their actual contributions, but according to how close they were to Senior Managers and SEs. Since ratings and salary increases and bonus percentages are related there is a very high chance of ending up with a pittance raise if you’re unfavorably rated.

Labels: accenture, laddering, low pay





Find Another Job

Posted 12:14 PM by assventure Tuesday, December 13, 2011

I see many frustrated comments here. I have had similar feelings too.

However, gain some work experience, and find another job, if you are doing IT job at that company. If you are in management or consultant, it is another story. If you are in IT: it is not a good place to stay long in my view.



Accenture UK – The Place Where Dreams Die

Sunday, October 09, 2011

I joined Accenture (UK) just over a year ago. As many on this blog have already said, I joined under the false premise that I will be here for the long haul and to build a career, but it quickly dawns on you that you have just signed a contract with the devil.

Upon completion of the pathetic 3 week Java course we were placed on the "bench" which as you may know is the place that dreams go to die. Pretty much everybody on the bench is a nervous wreck whose career is slipping away from their eyes as they sit back and get lambasted for not showing initiative.

  1. On the bench you will quickly start to realize that everyone around you will try to get one up you and hide their activities from you. This will be your first lesson is "Accenturism" … backstabbing.
  2. The more time you spend on the bench the more desperate you will become as you will continue to get emails and calls from your scheduler and often technical directors threatening you with the consequences of not landing a role. But the dichotomy is always that you’re hired on basis of doing something but often there are just no roles at all within accenture. This is when you will be faced with Accenturism’s second lesson … making do.

You will have to pretty much make do with whatever you find to stay on top of your game. That might very well be that you will be sent to bloody Edinburgh to test their internal phone systems when you were hired as a senior SAP consultant. Doesn’t matter, you’re a resource that has to be used.

Eventually you do find a role, as in my case, but it was just a 4 week role. Luckily I did great on that role, enough to get me a recommendation to move onto another role that was perfect for me at the time. I played some politics and made sure I moved in the right direction and it paid off. I ended up staying on that role for about 8 months when Accenture (as they always do), messed up the job and lost the contract.

So I like many others were dumped on the bench.

But do you want to know what happened on that project?

Well I like other developers on the team worked 14 hours a day, we came in at 9 AM every day and left at 11 PM. We put in so much work and hours thinking that we were going to get our rewards.

Then as the project started crashing, our petty idiotic team lead started blaming us for all the problems (when it was him who got us in the shit to begin with). He was so good at doing that, he was the one that got the promotion while all of us stayed where we were. He not only came in late and left early, but plenty of days didn’t even bother to show up to work at all.

But my friends it was NEPOTISM.

What else would you call a system whereby the project’s manager ends up hiring his wife as a bloody contractor and pay her tons of money for doing a job (HR) that the project already had someone doing. Pure greed.

Last week, Mr. Danny F***t (a name many of you might know), gave us a call and threatened us that if we don’t find a role soon then Assventure might decide to stop paying us. Well what do you know…

I am very happy to say that I am now in the process of handing in my resignation and setting myself free. I feel like I was enslaved at Accenture and now I’m about to go and restart my career.

I guess I needed the Accenture experience to show me what was wrong in my life so I can learn from it.

But my advice to anyone reading this… DON’T JOIN, spare yourself the douchebaggery and go somewhere else.



Borderline Criminal Behavior – A Client’s Opinion

Monday, July 25, 2011

Borderline criminal behavior.

We have a bunch of Assventure associates working on one of our projects because management was too cheap and incompetent, and fell for the sales pitch of how Assventure could do everything better than their employees for less money.

Well with dozens of Assventure associates now working for us, I couldn’t agree more with what everyone here is saying.

They hire young people straight out of school, and fill their heads with all that corporate "Work till you drop, then work some more, and we’ll promote you." mentality. They then add one talented person per dozen, and ship the whole crew out to your project.

The talented people are worked half to death while the rest seem to spend all their time justifying their existence while adding billable hours. The net result is one hot mess of a project. I can only hope more companies wise up to the scam and start dropping outsourcing sweat shops like Assventure.

Assventure IS the modern equivalent of a sweat shop and I feel for all the poor souls trapped in such a horrid, dead end job.



I Ignored the Early Red flags

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Being a former employee of Accenture, a man with over 25 years of IT experience, I agree with much of the negative things said here.

Of course, Accenture will say, "With over 100,000 employees worldwide, there’s bound to be some sour grapes". Here was my experience at Accenture…

During Day-2 of their 3-day (yes, 3-day) orientation, red flags began to be raised. It seemed that most of the tasks normally done by HR and Management were being dumped on the employees, and that there were an unusually high number of regulations that you can be disciplined for and/or terminated, if these regulations were violated either intentionally or unintentionally.

A friend of mine resigned from Accenture during orientation after seeing all of the stuff being dumped on him. In hindsight, I wish I had done the same. I would have been better off in the long run.

More red flags were raised, when I was sitting on the bench, trying to get my first role on their internal jobsite, of which there were few that matched my skillset. I felt like I was trying to find a job all over again. I started thinking to myself, "With so few roles that matched my skillset, why did they hire me in the first place?" The only saving grace was that I was being paid, but I knew that this could not go on indefinitely.

I managed to get on a project, which actually went pretty well. I got along well with the other members of the team and the project leader was a nice, competent, and respectable guy. My time on the project only lasted about 6 weeks, but I got a positive review from the project leader. Then, it was back for another long stint on the bench.

They then flew me and several others on the bench for 5 days of training on a new tool Accenture was going to start using. In 5 short days, we became their "experts" on this tool. I was then finally assigned to another role where I got to use this tool. After providing all the deliverables that were agreed upon, the project leader rolled me off the project, and gave me a pretty negative review, despite being nominated by him for a performance excellence award???

My next project was worse. My project leader, an Indian fellow (surprise, surprise), told me that I wasn’t delivering fast enough. He even had the nerve to question my experience, despite the fact that I was writing programs before he even started school back in India. I explained to him that the work given to me had errors and inconsistencies that needed to be corrected before I could deliver it. Long story short, I requested to be rolled off of the project because I couldn’t work for this individual. I then knew exactly what I had gotten myself into when I joined Accenture. I also started getting annoyed at employees being referred to as “resources”. We’re people, human beings!

After 2 weeks looking for my next role, Accenture laid me off. The only satisfaction I got was that I was able to tell the last 2 project leaders what I thought of their reviews. I’m sure this played a role in hastening my departure from Accenture. In fact they did not even pay my 4th week pay which was mandatory. Labor laws which have no value.

This is not to say that Accenture isn’t for everyone. It wasn’t for me. I just wish I realized this before I started. At the time, I needed a job right away, and Accenture was the only thing I had going.

In my opinion, Accenture’s employment model is dismal and destined for failure, as was the case when they were Arthur Anderson.

Join at your own risk!!



Work Them to their Bones

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

I have been working in Finance for Accenture for just over one year. In this time, I have seen almost an entire department of approximately 55 people change. The majority of people are actively looking for another job.

The company’s business model is to hire junior staff and work them to the bone for below market compensation. At the same time, the firm is constantly standardizing its processes which are then outsourced to workers in low wage countries, who in my opinion are underpaid even by their standards.

The standardization of processes also allows Accenture to withstand very high rates of attrition as the higher level of standardization ultimately makes the employee more dispensable.

Someone mentioned that Accenture is not a company but an institution; I think that this is an accurate assessment. You are expected to conform and to repeat what executives and senior management say. Disagreeing with a superior, even if it is in the context of suggesting an improvement, may lead to a poor performance review. Agreeing with a superior even if you know something is wrong is often better than challenging an idea or work process in an effort to improve it. There is a very rigid hierarchy and thick layers of bureaucracy. "Networking" is something that is often advocated within the company but with time you come to realize that "networking" means brown nosing.

The hype about work life balance could not be more false. You will be told that you are not expected to work past mid-night or over the weekend but not doing so is sure to come up in your performance review.

Most people are provided with laptops (not only the consultants) and are expected to take their work home with them. I work Investment Banking hours for a quarter of the pay. It is not unusual to work 70 to 90 hours per week (I am not just talking about the consultants), and in fact if you want any chance at a promotion you are expected to do so.

Accenture is a very high volume, high stress work environment. Any workforce you are in you will find yourself constantly pressured to "ghost hours" (not report the full number of hours worked). Although, "ghosting hours" is publicly discouraged, those that do so a rewarded while those that report all time worked, are reprimanded for taking too long to perform their job.

Another very common practice is for management to gather dirt on you by discussing you with your colleagues behind closed doors. This creates a negative environment of distrust. A private/personal conversation that you have with another colleague often reaches management and can be used against you. I have seen management pressuring analysts and specialists into making negative commentary about strong analysts which were than used against them. I confirm that the company does not stand by its values, particularly "respect for the individual".

Labels: Run away for your life



Feast on Any Carcass

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Accenture environment is pathetic, it encourages guile opportunistic behavior of its employees, It is so greedy that the culprits like SEs, Managers/TLs are ready to sell their mother’s soul for fame, money and success.

Please do not think I am blowing things out of proportion. This is true.


The Accenture hyenas and vultures feasting on a carcass.

They are ready to feast on any carcass as long as it has been brought down by traits like *ss k*ssing, Back Stabbing, Ultra cheap behavior, Shameless cheating, Constant conspiring, Double crossers, Hidden Intentions, Hypocrites, Jealousy, Manipulation, Patronising, Slimey, Smooth Talking, Sneaky, Spying, Super selfish, Tricky, etc.

It is just the tip of the Ice Berg. Please go ahead and join, experience the wonderful world of Ass-enter and then revisit Exposing Evil Empire to see if I make sense.

Labels: BAN ACCENTURE



Want My Life Back

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

New to this blog, old to the firm.

Fed up.

Screwing customers AND employees is our business

Can’t say mucho more than HANDS OFF THE TECHNOLOGY WORKFORCE, no matter whether it’s called Corital, ATS, TGP or what screwed up new names our directors invent for it. Career is non-existent, salary below market average, and the lies remain the same.

Once heard "developing people is our business" – reality reads "screwing customers AND employees is our business". Experience yourself by joining this company…

After not being promoted for the second time, despite my project’s recommendation, I’m writing my resign letter right now. Screw that pile of shit. Can manage to earn more $ elsewhere PLUS having something like my life back. No more flying around to projects I’ve never wanted to get staffed on in the first place.



Fake People

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

ASSVENTURE IS A STUPID PLACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No flexibility in terms of workload, no work-life-balance and definitely filled with fake people. The Managers have no integrity and the best part is they do not practice the core values!!!!



Assventure – ‘Dirty politics delivered’

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Assventure – ‘Dirty politics delivered’

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/business/news/centrica-launches-163182m-lawsuit-against-accenture-826286.html

http://www.wired.com/threatlevel/2007/04/gov_sues_accent/

http://www.businessinsurance.com/article/20100409/NEWS/100409911

http://www.topix.com/forum/com/acn/TI2B1DK38HE0IV8RD

Labels: *ss k*ssing, Back Stabbers, Cheap, Cheats, Conspire, Double crossers, Hidden Intentions, Hypocrites, Jealousy, Manipulation, Patronising, Slimey, Smooth Talking, Sneaky, Spy, Super selfish, Tricky



Disgusting to Experience

Saturday, December 04, 2010

Yes, there has been quite a few comments on the net against Accenture’s core values.

I just quit yesterday.

It’s the most wise thing I have done in my life. Its disgusting to experience and observe the horror unfolding in the company. It’s just a matter of time when ACN will become another Blue-chip company losing its clothes in public because of bad corporate practices.

To those who are researching the company before you join them: These days having Accenture experience goes against you in the industry as the entire Tech services sector considers Accenture work culture to be appalling. And hence anyone from Accenture is considered as ‘AIDS’.

I’m not being vindictive, just plain frank.

You can bid you skills goodbye by being with them as it is never encouraged. I was in the Manager level after having extensive IT experience in the industry and a degree from Stanford. The politics practiced by everyone from team lead and up have made the environment toxic. Which any imbecile knows is a recipe for disaster.

Now that I work for a fantastic financial institution, I really pity the ones still stuck there due to the recession.

If you want to kill your skills join accenture.



Filth

Monday, November 22, 2010

Accenture is the Nazi concentration camp of the IT industry!

The work culture, ethics and values are beyond reason.

It is a finishing school for tomorrows rogue politicians!

Do not risk your values, dignity, soul by working for this scam IT consultancy!

IT IS THE FILTH OF THE IT WORLD!

ASSVENTURE IS THE REAL BRAND OF ACCENTURE….so TRUE!

Labels: exploit, low pay, politics, shit



Smartest Move Ever

Saturday, October 30, 2010

I left Assventure a few months ago as an executive with the strategy practice.

Now the only thing I can say is: LEAVING ASSVENTURE WAS THE SMARTEST MOVE EVER. THAT SHIT HOLE WILL COLLAPSE SOON UNDER A MASSIVE FINANCIAL SCANDAL.

IT’S JUST A BUNCH OF CROOKS USING INCOMPETENT AND CONCEITED BABIES TO RIP OFF THEIR CLIENTS.

GOOD NEWS: THOSE CLIENTS ARE BEGINNING TO UNDERSTAND. AND ASSVENTURE’S TROUBLES ARE JUST BEGINNING!!!



Outsourcing to Accenture

Sunday, October 24, 2010

I work for an American Fortune 50 company which is outsourcing all of its American staff to Assventure.

A major corporation in town that has beer tanks the size of Rhode Island was purchased and broken up by some Belgians.

The "executives" at this major beer company were famous for outsourcing their beer IT team to Assventure more than 5 years ago. Needing a job after the Evil Belgians fired them (and took over their million dollar custom designer decorated corner offices), they now work at my company across town — a MAJOR medical drug dispensing company. They have a great idea… Hire Assventure to replace all the IT staff. Now I spend 90 minutes a day "knowledge sharing" with an *ss in India who doesn’t speak English and will soon be looking at DoD employee medical drug records. While "my peer" Senior Software Engineer was listening to me discuss complex database management systems I could hear some tard telling someone how to connect their printer in the cube next door.

The next day I heard another American "knowledge sharing" about their corporations inside information — not very secret if I could hear it.

Hey guess what.. A bottle of beer is equal to a bottle of heart medication. Both can be managed by 20 year old assventure tards.



Beware "Experienced Hires"

Thursday, September 09, 2010

If you are being recruited by this company as an "experienced hire", don’t believe any of the promises of quick advancement, bright future, etc.

Run from any offer this company puts in front of you

Be wary of phrases like "I’m going to take you under my wing", "this is a manager making role". It is all a load of crap.

Experienced hires are brought in only to provide cover for the incompetent leadership of projects.

Truth be known you will end up doing all of the work and getting none of the credit for it. Especially if you are older, you will find it difficult to assimilate into the *ss k*ssing culture of this company. Please take my advice and run from any offer this company puts in front of you.



Accenture Portugal – Favoritism

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Accenture Portugal?

What a load of crap…

These guys recruit graduates from good universities and lousy ones, mix them together during programming training then start selecting the friends of the managers or the ones graduated from the same lousy schools of the managers for the best projects…

The other ones are not expected to stay after about 6-7 weeks of training, and if staying they are only expect to participate in crappy projects from where a few months later they are gone because the company don’t want to put them in a permanent hired position in order to save tax money…

The same happens at Cap Gemini Portugal, although in this case they start as trainees (in some cases they may skip traineeship if they have experience or friends inside the company, recruiting based in competence is not the norm), the rest is very similar: a very incompetent environment where people are proud of working in IT without knowing how to install software or basic programming, yet they are selected to monitor the activity of the new guys, the result obviously is that incompetence prevails and only the friends and acquaintances are there to stay for the best positions…

I could go on for hours with details, including real cases of technical and functional evaluations where the people repeatedly with the best scores are to be later rejected because they normally are not the new incompetent friends of the older incompetent folks.

There are also cases of people with experience that are only offered positions to start as trainees, talk about slavery.

And the salary paid? Gee, it is better for one to keep record of every cent before trying to buy a meal. You better get some food stamps if you are going to spend some time in these companies.



Avoid a Certain Executive

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Whatever you do, avoid B*** H*******S in Seattle, he is a pompous, deceitful stuffed shirt.



Major Yes-Man, Major Acting Job

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

As a former ACN employee (I accepted the 2009 Voluntary Separation Program payout).

I agree with the first blog post… If you want a promotion at ACN you have to k*ss the *ss of your PM. That is the way the promotion structure at ACN works, because a PM has to vouch for you to get a promotion, and the only way you can get one to do that is to be a major Yes-Man on your current project. If you are considering joining ACN, be prepared to do a major acting job for your PM.

Labels: join, promotion



Online Training

Friday, March 14, 2008

Accenture is the crapiest company ever.

Everyone has to lick *sses before promoting, and know some a manager or a partner in order to get promoted.

The projects suck, and the IT consulting is pretty much lying to the customers about experts that are only experts in science fiction. Real Experts in accenture are not paid well as the online crappy training is much more important that the real training and expertise (It is better to have completed an on line training in Cisco at Accenture than having a CCIE certificate from Cisco).

Consult my ASS…



Accenture Argentina

Sunday, September 02, 2007

Ass-enter sucks! I work for Accenture Argentina, it’s the worst job paid in the IT market, and obviously we work lot of overtime.

Stop trying to wash our brains!!!

I wasn’t even happy when they promoted me last FY. Everyone was happy and congratulating each other then, but I was sad, because I was working for assenter.

Unfortunately, I still work for acn…



Accenture India

Monday, May 21, 2007

Yes, I had the same experience at Assenture’s India delivery centre at Bangalore… they use and abuse us and then dangle these lollipops from time to time telling us what a great company it was….

Great my ass… whoever came up with "incompetence delivered" hit the nail on the head.

At least that’s true for the India centre.. I think the rule is that if there’s shit work nobody wants to do in a company, assenture would gladly take it up.. under-staff it with a bunch of desperate Indians who’d work for peanuts and no, the competence of the people taking up the job is definitely not considered.

Morons and kiss-assers are generally the team leads ready to bend over double and offer their asses for royal screwing. of course they pass on the favor further down…. I left the company too. Thank God, good riddance!



Accenture Bangalore – Bullshit Stuffed Down Your Throat

Alright so this one comes from Bangalore, India.

I joined assventure sometime back and boy does it suck!

The only people who seem to have stuck around in this f*ckhole are either too incompetent (read too cheap) or so full of shit themselves that assventure is a perfect match for them.

Anyone out there thinking of joining this company should be happy to have read this first. If you attach any value to work-life balance, quality work and a sane work environment you should strike assventure off the list right away.

The India Delivery Center is an excuse for an overstuffed, low skilled, over-exploited junkyard. Ok, I am from India and I know most work gets here because of the cost factor but frankly as in my case if you are even just about above average on the IT scale, the work at assventure would be mind numbingly clerical. I actually have a project manager and a team lead who would like to know when you want to leave the office – can you imagine that!

The worst part is when after experiencing all of this, you get sheer bullshit stuffed down your throat about how great assventure is to work at. I am relieved I have found another job at a much better place where I get paid better and treated better.

Guys, there are companies out there much better than assventure in India… the startups / smaller smarter ones are super for quality of work … and life!



Dance of Incompetence

Thursday, August 31, 2006

I began working with Assventure since I was outsourced to them in late 90’s. I have always had very high evaluations, and I am an executive with them (not a partner, though). However, in case some of you folks are considering a career with them (us), here is fair disclosure:

When they began, they were actually a pretty good company to work for. Then… they went public… did their IPO… granted 1100 partners 900 Million $$ in deferred stock, and began the dance of incompetence that has caused them to recently write a check to the Government of the UK for almost 500 million $$ (http://www.itworld.com/Man/3868/060329accenturedive), and other firms you haven’t read about for other hundreds of millions of $$. They are now frantically cutting costs, in the most absurd ways, by eliminating the lower/middle tiers of employees. They are NOT eliminating partners, who each make a minimum of $500,000 per year (excluding the massive deferred stock grants), up to 5 million$ per year.

If you work for these clowns, expect to be smiled at to your face, while giving up your weekends, your holidays, and your life. Expect to be lied to by Partners who have made a living with their personality, not their skill.

Expect to experience their newly invented "variable bonus" structure that results in zero bonus… which you will only find out at the end of the year.

They’ve given no raises in 3 years, no bonuses, and they just ‘readjusted’ pay scales at all the cities at which they have major accounts to lower the pay of their people. They have "impacted" (means ‘layed off with essentially no severance pay, no COBRA’) over 200 people at my engagement alone.

This is a company headed for disaster, and wrecking the lives of hundreds of the lower level employees in the process. Oh, but hey, if you’re the diminutive lead partner at my engagement, no prob… you just spent over $800,000 remodeling your basement in Atlanta.

My personal belief is that Assventure is headed for a financial scandal of some type… They are going through CFOs at a pretty good clip, just like HealthSouth before it collapsed.



Collecting My Pay Check

Friday, August 25, 2006

I’ve worked at assenture for the past 4 years all I do is browse the web all day and collect my paycheck – no one knows I exist.



Nothing But Lies

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Tired of Accenture’s online bull shit training, nothing but lies, makes me feel like I’ve just joined Amway also.



Replacing Customer "Resources" with Accenture Ones

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Accenture. what can I say but AWFUL.

I signed on in one of their delivery centers. Our Team had a meeting after thanksgiving and our Boss says "No one gets a full day off until December 23rd". We spent three weeks (Saturdays and Sundays too) doing what amounts to clerical work for the client and billing them 92.00 per hour, per person!!!!

Talk about performance delivered.

We had several developers on our team. I was the only one with an IT degree from an accredited college. Our "lead" majored in law. Our other programmer, while extremely competent at his job, was working as a admin assistant before getting his big break at Accenture.

Accenture is guilty of a very basic conflict of interest: Our Team billed the customer 90 something dollars an hour for the hours each person worked. So, it was in the company’s best interest to drag out development projects as long as they possibly could.

And they did.

I sat in meeting where our AP talked about the need to recommend solutions to our customers that our hardware and software "partners" provide. He even went so far as to say that Accenture had targeted that area for increased revenue (read…. Kickbacks). It’s all perfectly legal of course.

I was taught that Accenture recommended solutions to customers based on the customers need, not what profited the company most. What a crock of shit!!!!!!

We’d have monthly meetings where our A/P (Account Partner) would recount with GLEE (Great delight) the "customer resources" we were going to "rolloff" and replace with Accenture people in Bangalore. It’s all about leveraging our low-cost delivery centers around the world. What an asshole!

I got another job and quit. I feel a lot better now. :)



I’m Outa Here

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Accenture, world worst IT company to work for? Yes, in my opinion.

Want us to take 35% pay cut, keep all our personal information on a laptop in an office, and it gets stolen! Do more, faster, with less. No future, pension just a burden on the "partners" profits.

Well screw them! I’m outa here. Lining up the job interviews, and don’t give a *@^ what happens.



Sucks

Sunday, June 20, 2004

Accenture sucks *ss!!!



No Regrets

Tuesday, July 08, 2003

Left Assventure a couple of years back.

Funnily enough the c*nt that was holding me back making sure I was not getting my promotion (against the recommendation of the project I was on at the time) was canned.

What goes around comes around after all.

Assventure seems like a real body shop outsourcing kind of place to work these days. Can’t say I regret leaving.



Layoffs

Monday, June 16, 2003

Zoiks. Layoffs ahoy. Pay cuts too.



No One Wants to Leave?

Saturday, May 31, 2003

After a year of begging, borrowing and stealing my way into a partners pants I finally get assigned to a project that’s 15 minutes from home.

Like a dream come true I can pull a 12 hour day and still get home in time to feed my little girl. However I clearly didn’t read the small print. Sending a mail saying I would do anything to get on the project was a stupid idea because I got landed with the "sort out this big pile of shite and we will f**k you in the promotions" job.

So once again I find myself starring down the barrel of a "Sustained" when I did a near to "Outstanding" piece of work. And now the project has folded and I’ve Been Moved are moving in to totally screw it up.

I wouldn’t care except that for Consulting the up or out system is kicking into overdrive something rotten. If you figure that 20% of the people are at a major promotion point (A, C, M, AP/P) and only 25% of them get promoted then that means that you cut the workforce by 15% each year.

Damn that’s a clever way to address the issue of no-one actually wanting to leave Consulting.



Color Coding War (Billed at $1200 per Day)

Wednesday, May 28, 2003

The latest workplace battle has Matt and Laura on one side, (not their real names — or are they??) and me on the other.

Matt and Laura both subscribe to the theory that color-coding cannot be overused, and are particularly partial to primary colors. I prefer the thin all-grey column or row to separate groups of data, and use a pale yellow background only occasionally if something really needs to stand out. The battle has been going on for weeks. I make a nice grey spreadsheet, they color-code everything in it. They make an Excel document that looks like a circus tent, and I try to tone it down a little. Back and forth, back and forth.

But they have been winning.

Color-codes have seeped into everything we do. It’s so bad each spreadsheet needs a legend saying what all the colors mean. Part of the reason is that Laura is the manager, so if she likes it why change it.

But today, today a blow was struck for the stateliness and professionalism of the two-tone spreadsheet.

Another manager emailed us asking if we could modify some of our tracking spreadsheet for him to go over with the client VP. His exact words were: "You can use the exact same information and layout, but let’s try to minimize the use of color".

Ha Ha! Take THAT you wanna-be creative types — Corporate America has no room for you!

Assimilate or die.



Bathroom Stall Leverage

Wednesday, May 21, 2003

So, practically the first person I run into here at "training" (read: company-mandated boozing) is the manager from my last project, the spineless wimp who d*cked me over on my project feedback.

The next guy I saw was a really asocial filthy guy I used to work with, who used the bathroom stall wall for ‘leverage’ when he took a shit. I cant see him without thinking about that.

I think I’ll just stay up in my room all night long. I don’t want to run into any other bad memories.



Salary in Accenture Italy

Tuesday, May 06, 2003

What about very poor salary in Italy…..?

4 years old in the firm and still with 33k…..



Ireland

Tuesday, April 29, 2003

150 in Ireland? What a freaking joke. Try 15,000 in India.



Code Falls out of Thin Air?

Wednesday, April 23, 2003

Good Lord, it’s almost 2 AM again and I’m still working, pulling out my hair, ate nothing but sugar and caffeine all day.

And I’m still gonna get reamed in the design review tomorrow.

I don’t see how they can expect us to deliver anything but crap when they won’t give us the resources to figure things out right. I mean, we’re not allowed access to the Java docs of the architecture classes we’re supposed to use, we’re not allowed to talk to people from the external systems we have to interface with, and the database keeps randomly adding columns and tables.

I mean, come on, code doesn’t fall out of thin air.



Arrived Late

Thursday, April 17, 2003

I didn’t get to into the office until 2:30 today.

I forgot my security badge and had to take the train all the way back to my apartment to get it.

Nobody at work noticed my absence.



Too Stupid to Understand?

Once I told this guy on a project that if the problem with my work was that he was too stupid to understand it, that was one thing, but if in reality the problem was that he was too stupid to understand, that was another thing all together.

The real problem turned out to be a combination of the two.



Ollie Willy

You should know that Ollie Willy Dillie Olling

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  1. Great going exposingevilempire ! You have now wiped the perverted smug off Assventure’s arrogant face ! :)

  2. Thanks for the comment Simone! I do agree with what you’re saying.

    Unfortunately I never had a day at Accenture without any real work to do… the long hours were not only face time for me, but really stressful to get everything done. If but “no real work” you mean boiling the ocean, then I do agree! Boiling the ocean = working hard at doing useless stuff. For example calculating all sorts of averages on a huge amount of data, without anyone at the client ever asking for it.

    I think lack of ethics is a requirement for promotion to manager… lol

    Rewarding work is what is most important to me too… the politics you might tolerate (for a while) if you at least do interesting work. But it’s not very common in Accenture. That’s not what the clients want Accenture to do.

  3. On 2nd Feb 2013 Assventure conducted an interview …They invited almost 2500+ candidates to attend the interview at Sadguntapalaya office…. those idiots don’t even know how to handle the interview process … HR Guys were behaving like the KOOLIES In KR Market ….they were very arrogant to the candidates and said that “THIS IS OUR PROCESS … IF YOU CANT ADJUST .. JUST LEAVE YOU WILL HAVE TO BE HERE FOR THE ENTIRE DAY FOR THE INTERIVEW”………they made candidates to wait 10 AM to 4 Pm and pushing the candidates from room to room …. and they have no idea what has to be done … HR executives were running here and there ………….. they don’t have enough interviewers ……. They should stop doing such idiotic things … people are suffering … they are coming from distant locations and you guys are playing with their time and life……… you invited them for interview …..have some professionalism boss

  4. Hi,

    I am not an Accenture employee and never have been however I would appreciate if someone could inform me as to what Accenture’s criteria are for bestowing the title of Consultant on their staff…

    I’ve met countless 22 year olds who introduce themselves to me as IT consultants… Now I’m a senior IT professional and I know a consultant when I see one and these pipsqueeks are not consultants..

    For instance;

    are they subject matter experts? No
    are they authoritative figures in their chose field? Erm certainly not
    are they personally sought after for advice? Erm hardly
    are they someone whose advice I would trust? Maybe but rarely
    are they paid directly by clients for their efforts? Ha
    do they have their own premises? Ha

    and so on

    So please; some insider info would be appreciated because Accenture are taking the p!ss out of those who have put the time in and acquired the volumes of experience who wouldn’t even dream of being arrogant enough to consider themselves consultants…

    Dave

  5. After being with Accenture for 6 years, I can for sure tell you that, there is no value ever delivered to clients for the amount they are billed.

    So what else the employees or consultants doing at the clients? Just face-time and trying to justify their existence for the billed hours.

    Now you may ask how the hell does accenture make so much money year on year if all their consulting projects are almost equivalent to scams. Its simple, at all their clients they have a ex-accenture senior executive serving at a high enough level where he is THE or one of the decision influencer. So they keep getting these projects and will keep getting them due to their extended nexus and network they have established across clients.

    But as an technical employee, if you ever think you will learn something productive which will shape your career, then you are mistaken. They will keep going on as mentioned above, but if you stick with them for too long you risk becoming obsolete, and will be forced to mend yourself into their weird networking system to survive.

    For experienced joiners better avoided.

  6. So here it comes. I have only worked for one year and two months for this company – during this on five different projects with completely different topics. Put on a training and then sold as a technical lead. Pressure with no end. I thought, maybe its on me, cause when reading the contract / code of conduct – nothing but good. But now reading these posts, I feel some what of confirmed. Since that time my CV looks like… . They destroyed simply everything good I ever experienced within IT projects and its hard to build up some trust again. Thank you all for your posts… it helps!

  7. I worked in Assventure for 8 months. This is the worst fucking company I have worked for.

    Firstly, their lame cruel HR hiring policies are for meeting their annual numbers.

    Next, if you are an Andhraite you have high chances of being accepted by bald or dark Andhra co-workers. Otherwise those Andhra fuckers will try their max to push you out with their boots.

    Sad are those Managers who won’t support you during your performance reviews. And your cost-cutting asshole onsite team mates are the ones who will nail you to the wall if you make even a single mistake in that fucking process. After leaving they would not even give you your RL soon.

    I hated service sectors, Acn is the worst of all. BPO’s in name of CFM!